wednesday

In the absence of sanity, my mind wanders. Imagination is powerful. This is the fruit of a morbid imagination...

7 a.m the morning sun peeks at my window. Another perfect day. Or another of my nightmares. I thought I wouldn’t wake up from the amount of dosage I took last night. The after-effect was you’d feel like you’ve been through hell and back. I picked up my cell phone. No text messages and no missed calls either. Ok. So I guess it’s really over. Just when I was about to get up, the phone rang. On second thought..Nah it couldn’t be. “Hello?” I said. “You won’t believe who just called me a while ago, guess who?” the voice on the other end of the line squealed. “Umm, the crypt keeper?”, I mused. “NOOohh.. Come on..THINK”, the voice shouted in excitement. Actually that’s the problem I am unable to keep my mind working. Think is not really the word for the day. Sleep is much better. My body ached to touch the bed once more. “Hello? Are you still there?” she said. “Uh huh. I’m not really myself right now.

Can you like call back maybe 5 years from now..i just got to pull myself together”, I explained. “Are you all right? I am so sorry. How could I be so insensitive? Do you want me to come over”. “It’s fine. I’m just so.. (yawn) sleepy. “Can you just tell prince charming to wake sleeping beauty maybe after 24 hours or so”, I answered. “I cannot believe you’re still into him! Get over it girl. Let me come over your place. No, make that I am getting my booty there in like 5 minutes and I am going to make you feel better”, she urged. “No, I don’t want to feel better. I want to sleep. Bye”, I said hanging the phone. I don’t want to feel better. I want to sleep. The last words were lies. I do want to feel better and I do not want to sleep. I’ve been sleeping for two days now. I must buy a new brand of those little white pills. Later. I’ll just close my eyes and pretend it was Wednesday all over again.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Damn it I said do not come over. What part of it does he not understand? Slipping into my shorts I walk through the door and opened it. I was about to scream but found out there was no one there. I look through the halls. Empty. Lying on the floor was a box. Great! Now I’m receiving mysterious packages that would apparently just one of those scenes in the movies wherein you’ll find a note that says, “ Take me back. I am sorry”. Or maybe a bomb was placed inside to blow the living daylights out of me. The package had my name. No notes whatsoever. Rascally, I tore the wrapper of the box. Opening it, I found a shirt. There were words printed in it. It read: Wednesday 7 p.m. and there was a picture of 2 bears hugging. It could have melted my heart. But it didn’t. It was a sick joke. A very sick and demented joke perpetrated by someone who wants me to lose my sanity. Something was still inside the box. A note. It said: look outside the window. Great! What now? I hurried towards the window and found a man standing smiling at me holding balloons in his right hand and a big teddy on the other. “Can I come up? PLEASE”, he asked. I signaled for a yes. This is all part of a scam isn’t it? I asked myself not to fall for these feel-good appeal to emotions shit. But what can I say? I’ll go nuts to ignore such attempts.

The phone rang. Consciousness came back. I must have dosed off. “What?” I screamed. “Oh, mom. I’m fine.. What do you mean? I don’t sound horrible. I’m just tired that’s all. Yeah, I’ll just pick it up tomorrow. Thanks. How’s everything there? Yeah. I’m glad you did. Bye. Yeah, I miss you all too..Next week I guess. Ok bye.” Words just flowed. I am glad she called. I’ll be going home next week. That is if I’d still be here. The sun was already high. It must be noon. I am surprised. I didn’t feel hungry at all. I went to my bed again. Close my eyes and pretend it was the day I hoped it was—Wednesday.

Wish you were here was on the airwaves. I hummed along. It was the perfect day or maybe I thought it was. I passed by the old condo of my friend. That was where he used to live. I looked at his window. It was now empty. There used to be a blue colored curtain hanging. Enough reminiscing. It’ll make you sick. I told myself. I was so caught up looking at the damn place that I barely noticed that I was going to bump into someone. Sorry. I muttered. My name was called. I looked up. Great! Am I the loser of the day or what? What are you doing here? He said. "I just passed by. What? Is that a crime?", I bantered. "I’ll be moving in again. I guess I’ll be seeing you around." Then he walked away carrying a big box full of what was used to be a part of me. Damn that hurts. Seeing us walk away in different directions. I walked. And walked. And yes, walked. I did not know where I would be going. I guess I just let my feet take me wherever it does. This day was not perfect after all.

The alarm rang. What the? I did not set any alarm. I complained. "I did. It’s already 7 p.m. you’ve been sleep for like 24 hours now." The voice said. Who the hell? I was still waiting for consciousness to flood in. I tried to get up. I felt so tired again. When will this shit end? My mind screamed. I looked at the traitor that ended what could have been a wonderful nightmare. It was he. He smiled. I could have died right then and there. He gave me a hug. I tried to repel it but he over powered me. I put me head on his shoulders and smelled his scent. Now I could breathe easier. It was not cologne. It was him. I did not ask you to come. I did not ask for anything. I tried breaking away from his arms. "I know. That is the whole point no one asks for you to leave me. No one wants this all to end but you. You can’t stop pretending to feel you hate me or I hate you. Because I don’t. I never did. I will never do that to you. So please stop making things complicated." He answered. Words never sounded so pleasant as before. Why am I making this complicated? Actually I did not. Or maybe I was just so caught up with my pride. No I couldn’t be. He stared at my eyes. It could have melted me. So is this the stare game? What? Is this the part where I will say sorry and kiss you? I bantered. You are so smart, I never seen that coming. He teased back. I kissed his cheek and hugged him so tightly like the teddy he gave me. I spotted the calendar hanging at my door. Wednesday—the day I’ve been waiting. Suddenly, I searched for my pocket. I have a present for you. I said.

What? He sound confused. I hugged him tight again so he won’t be able to get loose. Raising my armed hand. Twice. Thrice. Or more. I plunged the pocketknife right where his heart is. His eyes were as big as the marbles lying in my floor. I smiled at his petrified self. Blood slowly flooded the floor and little by little his consciousness faded. He wasn’t even able to defend himself. I laughed. I am smart. What? Do you think I would fall for that same old shit you say and do? Not this time you two-faced cheater! Not for all the things you’ve put me through. Not for all the lies you said. Not for ruining my life. Not on my day. Not on Wednesday. Next week. Next week I’d be gone. On the same day that all hell broke loose—Wednesday.

note: i never thought i had such aggressive tendencies..oh well